Strong Enough?

There seem to be so many "fitness gurus" during this time in history. Of course they have always been around, the fitness craze goes in cycles. 

Some gurus do what they do because of their own personal passion and some find it to be a profitable profession, while others just love having some kind of knowledge to share with others (they love a following). Fitness gurus focus on the physical body and nutrition in the attempt to improve life.  

There are intellectual gurus as well. Yes, they tend to be rocket scientists but they can also be professors as well as other highly educated persons who see mental knowledge as the best way to improve one's life. Physical fitness and mental capacity are each considered strength in their own right.

What about the person who has only one of these attribute? What about the person who has neither?  

 

During a character study in the Old Testament of the Bible I read about Sampson. Blessed by God from his birth, Sampson had many character flaws that seemed to keep him in troublesome situations. Sampson's biggest strength was physical. He was chosen by God, to be a Nazerite, as a be a judge in Israel. 

Most who hear of him, recognize that his strength came from not cutting his hair. Sampson knew of God's directions for him yet we see that his physical strength did not help his heart and soul, which were weak when it came to loving and following God. Sampson had very little self-control, he had anger issues, and he had a problem with lust. But God had a plan, to have Sampson to rescue Israel from the Philistines, despite Sampson’s poor choices and disobedience. It is obvious through Sampson's example that physical strength does not equal total strength.

So what about that person who is born with physical deformities or mental retardation that does not allow them to excel in the world's arena of  brains and brawn? What about the average person who is living life day in and day out with the stress of making ends meet? Can these people be "strong enough" to live a happy healthy life, to "improve life" without going to the gym daily or constantly reading to gain knowledge?

I say, "Yes". You see in the same book that contains the life history of Sampson I also read,  Deuteronomy 6:5 which says, “Love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.” That says to me that our true strength comes from loving God with our whole being. This was the strength that Sampson lacked, loving God with his total being. When we chose to love God with our heart (emotions), with our soul (mental capacity), and with our strength (physical), we become strong in ways we would have never imagined. Why? Because we focus on God and not on ourselves. When we focus on God, He strengthens us, He directs us, He gives us stability to do what He has for us to do. This is beautiful because it means that each individual who knows Christ as his or her personal Savior has a Strength that is limitless.

Am I saying "never exercise". No. Am I saying, "don't waste your time reading and learning new things". No. But to focus on either of these for the sheer purpose of being strong in that one area misses the mark of true strength, loving God with all our being.

"Spotlightitis"

Have you met a person who has a need to be the center of attention at all times in all situations. Of course you have. Sometimes we think they're "cute". Other times we find them annoying. How we respond to an "attention getter" seems to be based on personality, ours and theirs.

Aside from personality, there are people who have a bad case of "spotlightitis". These people have a different desire and motive for being the center of attention. It stems from a need to be in control and/or advance in some way. They have a desire to be right, use their knowledge to impress others and sway the option of those around them, or gain a position they think they should have.

It's amazing how people with "spotlightitis" seem sincere and caring. They are constantly helping others, leading classes, and organizing group pages to share what they know. They always seem to have the right answers. They are avid readers and searchers. They are quick to use their experiences or the experiences of others to give advise. They draw people in. They crave having people around them that are impressed by them and seem to need them. Often those who "follow" the person with "spotlightitis" do not recognize their this persons need to have others around them and to be impressed by them.

It is hard to give advise to or correct a person with "spotlightitis". They believe that they are right, in most cases they will not listen to you what you have to say on a topic, unless they are seeking to impress or admire you. Sadly, they are quick to turn on you through gossip if they feel threatened by you in some way. The desire to keep people on their side is great and hurting someones reputation is easily justified in their mind.

It is easy to be drawn in and like the person with "spotlightitis", especially when they seem so sincere, caring, and helpful. It is not wrong to have this person as a friend and ask for advise or help, but be careful. We are stronger than we think.

The knowledge they have, we can gain through reading, asking questions, watching a documentary, and talking to our doctor. When we are able to gain help and information from many sources, our knowledge grows as well as our confidence in resolving a tough situation. It is also better to pray and seek God's help. His knowledge if so far above ours that we can trust Him to meet our needs. If the person with "spotlightitis" is a peer, seek out a person who is older and who's experiences are far beyond your own. Seeking advise of someone who is on the same path of life as yourself is not helpful when their are those who have "been there" already. An older mentor can enrich your life and help you come through difficult times much quicker. Also an older wiser mentor usually have a level of care and humility will far exceed the person with "spotlightitis".

Unsure if you are the person with "spotlightitis"? Test yourself. Try releasing control. Take time off from give advise or direction to those who ask, or don't ask. Back away from activities and people that you find "build you up" because they listen to you and hang on your every word. If you find it hard to release control; if the urge to give advise is too strong; if you cannot take correction or advise from others, more than likely you are suffering form this form of self-centeredness.

That Little Thing Called Gossip

This picture reminds me of the scene I've seen time and again in old movies. One women "happens" to mention why Mabel will not be attending tea that afternoon. In pure curiosity and concern, one of the other women ask why. The next thing you know the other women are all talking about Mabel's latest operation and what a cad her husband is. We shake our head and continue to watch as the movies shifts the story to another part of house.

What is gossip? It could be described as unproductive or destructive talk about other's personal or private affairs. In other words, talking about someone "behind" their back about something that does not concern you, or does not concern the other person being told. Mabel's latest surgery is no concern of Lola and Patsy, unless Mabel wants them to know.

Seems simple. It isn't for most of us. Even when we say we are not gossips, it creeps it's way into the conversation. Why? Some people like being the one who knows something that others don't know and they love the feeling that comes with being the one to tell. Others will gossip, share information about a situation, that they are directly involved, because someone "offended" them. They run around gossiping about the situation in an attempt to make it sound like the other person was at fault. Their soul intent is to make herself look the innocent bystander. Her hope is to get people aligned on her side so if that other person says anything, she already has a team supporting her side of the story, right or wrong.

Still others seem to enjoy setting fires and watching them burn. Do I think there can an innocent side to gossip. Yes, I think that someone can say something about someone else out of frustration and once it comes out of her mouth, she realizes she should have not said it.

Why not gossip? God Himself is very much against gossip. In the English Standard gossip is called "slander". In the long run, it doesn't really benefit us to use gossip/slander to get people on our side, to be the first to tell, or just to cause problems. It sets us up for failure. You see, if you are willing to gossip to me about someone else, how can I trust you?

What should you do once you gossip/slander someone else? Go to them and ask them to forgive you. Be ready though, they do not have to forgive you. You chose to hurt them, they may need time to heal before they can offer forgiveness.

How can you avoid gossip. Don't hang out with people who are gossips/slanderers. Don't be drawn in by the person who gossips under the guise of having you pray about it. Be careful of the person who speaks poorly of a spouse, parents or friends, eventually they will want you to side with them and the argument they use to secure your support is in fact gossip. If you tend to gossip yourself, pray and ask for strength to not gossip and stay away from those who you tend to gossip to when you are upset or frustrated to avoid gossiping.

Here's some reading to help remind you about how serious God takes gossips:
Leviticus 19:16; Psalm 15:3, 50:20, 101:5, 140:11; Proverbs 10:18, 11:13, 20:19; Matthew 15:19; Mark 1:22; Romans 1:30; Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:8; 1 Timothy 3:11, 6:4

The Unseen Threat

Yes, you're right. "The Unseen Threat" sounds like a commercial jingle for a termite control company. The threat I'm speaking of is just as much of a threat. It is one that works through the destruction of the mind and emotions. And as with termites, it can stay hidden from the human eye until it's destruction is so devastating that repair seems hopeless.

What is this "unseen threat"? The one I'm speaking of is one that involves the feelings and emotions. It is a sense of being threatened without an apparent cause. It's a tightening in the chest and jaw; a narrowing of the eyes; a sense of panic; the heart races; thoughts become irrational. No obvious threat, yet the response is as if a vicious dog had just jumped into your path of sight.

When I first began to notice that these feelings seemed , "irrational", I evaluated them as "control issues" (and at times they are). You see, my childhood was turbulent and life always seemed out of control and out of my hands. I controlled what ever I could, mostly in my mind, in an attempt to keep any ounce of sanity and dignity that I could.

As I hit my adult years, I  gained more freedom physically and in my thoughts. My mind was still in that state of defensiveness and an unrealistic sense of protecting myself continued to develop. At a young age I had to learn whom I could trust and from whom to keep my distance. The problem was that I kept myself from most people and had few friends (one all the way through elementary school, one in middle school, and only one close friend in high school). It was in an attempt to protect myself from anyone knowing what my home was like and who I was (I thought I was not worth knowing. I still think that at times. Interesting how deep childhood feeling can go).

When did I realize this "unseen threat" theory of mine? Just a few month ago. I was praying about a situation and it was as if God revealed to me that the problem/"threat" I was dealing with was "in my mind". I am not trying to minimize mental struggles, I know as well as anyone what that instability can cause, remember, I grew up with it. A question came to mind at the moment of the "insight", "Is this threat real or is it imaginary?"

"Is it real or is it imaginary?" What? I have a pretty descent sense of who I can trust and not trust and if a situation makes me comfortable or uncomfortable, now I am asking myself if what I am thinking is real or imaginary. Since I also tend to over think everything and this question was now throwing me for a loop, I had to evaluate if the question was legitimate and then if my thoughts were legitimate.

The evaluation went something like this: "Am I being physically threatened? No. Great. I like that answer. So there's no problem there. Am I being verbally attacked? Not that I knew of. Was I being emotionally abused. No." Wow! Have you ever had a burden lifted from your mind? I was safe. I live in a safe home with people who love me, with people who want my best. Even if my home were to be like my childhood home there was one thing that would remain the same, I am a child of God. He was my rock as a child. He was the one person in my life that I knew loved me and cared about me. I could feel Hid protection, time and time again (I would not be alive today if it were not for Him).

I guess maybe life always seems unstable for children of abuse. We peek around mental corners in attempt to protect ourselves. This is why I love that the battle we fight in our mind is one that God knows about. He knows that there is a spiritual battle that rages all around us, it is one that can affect our minds through emotions and feelings. .Ephesians 6:12 says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." The passage goes on to tell us how to prepare ourselves for this battle.

Again, I am not trying to minimize mental struggles but I do know that, for me, there was freedom in realizing that I was living in a world that I had created to protect myself and that the "unseen threat" was not real. Now I have a way to evaluate perceived treats to see if they are real or unreal. Am I going to struggle? Yep. It is rooted deep from my childhood. Do I need to be defeated by it? Nope. I have a tool, not only a question to ask myself but also the weapons of spiritual warfare, God's Word. I have more hope and peace than I've had in years.

Now to work on the control issues.

 

Transmission Being Sent

Many of us don't like to think that we are like our parents. Why? For some of us, it is because we grew up in a home with problems and those problem stemmed from our parents lacking needed personal and/or parenting skills. For others it is because we like to think of ourselves as unique, therefore being like our parents means we are not as unique as we had hoped. There are others still, of course, who adore our parents and count it a privilege to be like them.  

I have to say that I met more in the first two categories than in the later. Not really sure why that is but I have a guess, based on my own experience. My parents grew up in homes with parents who were poor role models. As adults, my parents hung out with people who had grown up with similar backgrounds. Therefore they raised me and my siblings in the mess they had known. They "transmitted" what they knew from their parents to us, while all their friends did the same.

Granted, the life style I am referring to may seem to fine or normal to many others, but it wasn't for me. I knew that there had to be more, something "better". I did not know what this "life" looked like until high school when I stayed at a friends house. I watched a family who spoke with kindness to one another. Encouragement was offered and for the first time in my life I watched a dad take out the Word of God and share from it in front of his family.

This experience  opened a whole new world to me. I still lived in the midst of craziness, but now a seed of hope for the future, my future, had been planted in my heart and mind. Through that and other times with that family they had "transmitted" important truth to me, "Things can be different. Things can be better".

In Ezekiel 46:20, God ordered that the priests were not allowed in the outer court because He did not want them to "transmit holiness to the people". This thought blew me away but then it made me think. Without going to deep, we, as parents, are the "priests" of our homes. We are called to care for the physical, emotional, and spiritual welfare of our children. If we are to transmit our knowledge of God and who He is to our children, first we must know it ourselves. My parents could not pass this on to me because they didn't know it themselves.

You see, the preists had been in the presence of God, in the Holy of Hollies.That is how a very small but very potant part of God's holliness tranmitted from them. If we are in God's Word (learning who He is and what He expects), if we are applying His word, if we are in fellowship with fellow believers, if we are serving others, and if we are living out holiness in front of our children we will "transmit" the truth and beauty of God to them.

I have tried to transmit my love for my God to my children. My husband and I are not perfect and we cannot truly reflect the holiness of God without His help and direction, but we are willing to be open to His leading and in service to Him because our God is worthy. We are to be the example to our children that is needed for them to desire to live their lives for Him.

Is the "transmission being sent" in your life?

A Little Encouragement, Please!

Dirty dishes, soiled laundry, crying children, a flat tire, too many bills and not enough pay...daily life. Then, your husband comes home and asks why dinner isn't ready. Frustration.

Once you both calm down and supper is on the table, you find out that your husband's boss had him work on a project then took credit. The dude even had the gall to dock his hours just as you were hoping to get into your own home...get the point?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get so wrapped up in our own problems and looking after our own concerns that we end up ignoring those around us who are struggling as well. When we focus on ourselves we tend to look "inside" causing more frustration and causing us to become more hopeless and helpless.

No matter how deep our problems seem to be, we can make the choice to encourage others, especially those who are closest to us. Will our needs be met? Maybe not. But if we are willing to try, we can be strong and look beyond our selves to give uplifting words to someone who needs them, maybe as much as we do.

Putting our worries and agenda aside to listen and encourage will, more than likely, lift our spirit as we realize we helped someone feel better. God encourages us to encourage others. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefor encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Will it always be easy? No. Is it necessary? Yes. Be sure to pray and ask God for the right words to speak since He knows what we need (and what others need) more that we now ourselves.

Would You be Satisfied?

Satisfied. I was trying to think how often I hear this word used in daily language and what someone is referring to when it is used. The one that stands out is eating. "Satisfy that hunger" is the first thing that came to mind. Fulfilled, would be a word that is used to substitute satisfied. "Is you job fulfilling?", "Is you marriage fulfilling", really mean "Are you satisfied?"

So are you? Are you satisfied with you job/career, with your marriage, with your children's grades? There are many areas of life that we could look at and ask the question of but there is one that struck me differently the other day and that is the one I want to focus on.

While reading an Old Testament passage something stood out causing me to ask myself a question. In Ezekiel 44:28-30, it speaks of the priests of Israel not having possessions of their own by saying, "And it shall be in regard to an inheritance for them, that I AM their inheritance; and you shall give them no possession in Israel-I AM their possession." (NASB) So the question I asked myself was, "Would I be, am I willing, to live life with God as my inheritance and my portion?"

No, I am not a priest but I do believe that I can learn for the lives of those God chose to single out and put their life story in His Word. So to ask myself that if everything was taken away, would I trust and continue to live life for my Savior is a deep sobering question. It would be easy to say "of course" when times are good, but it is a question that I want to pray about when times are good. I want to be strong in mind and spirit to say "of course" if and when everything falls apart.

That is were the word "satisfied" comes back in. Can I, am I willing, to be satisfied with God being my inheritance and my portion? How about you?

So Ya Wanna Be a Rock Star

There's a disturbing tread that is becoming more and more prevalent, "attentions seekers" (not to be confused with "thrill seekers"). These are people who will do just about anything to get the attention of others. There are many reasons that these people feel a need to be noticed.

For some it may be a lack of appropriate attention at home. As a child my parents were so wrapped up in their own issues they could not meet the emotional needs of their children. Another frustration that causes an attention seeker is being a "number" in a classroom. A child may need individual help because he lacks the knowledge and skill to work a alone and keep up a high grade average, but there is no one to help him because the teacher is too busy to notice that one student. Yes, this was also me (two strikes against me). There are more but I was thinking today about one in particular...

Today's media options make it easy to see what others are doing, what they have, and how they utilize it. No longer does an individual need to get on a bus in Hollywood to see the homes of the "stars", all they need to do is go on-line and search. Newspapers, magazines, talk shows, and the evening news all have space donated to who's doing what, what they have, and how they are utilizing it. I would love to say that it is always positive, but none of us are blind. We heard how many millions so and so got for making a movie, playing a gig, or pitching in a game. A few days later we hear how they spent it and how much time they did for it. We also seems to be a need to know what this actress is wearing and how little there is of it or who is having who's baby and when the divorce will be.

We look at our simple little lives stuck in our simple little world and wonder- why?? Why can't I make more money? Why can't I have a hot car and big house, and all the latest fashions? Why? Why? Why?

I think "why?" is a great question. Of course I also think that looking at the big picture is a good place to start.

Do you deserve something better? Do you? When you are comparing yourself to others it may seem like you don't have enough but if you have what is needed to live day to day, food, shelter, then you are doing better that most people in the world (I am not an advocate of making people feel guilty for what they have but it is a good way to evaluate how grateful one should be). Today as you tune into the radio or watch TV, listen to the advertisers. You will be amazed at how often you hear a phrase that tells you "you deserve" whatever it is. Do you really? Maybe it is a way to make you feel discontented so you will buy their product. Do you like being taken advantage that way?

Not everyone can handle the deluge of media influence. No one should have to. Then we add in the  uncontrolled violence of video games, and the many facets of social media. Not only are you discontented because you are not a "Rock Star" (which maybe you could handle because there is a sense that it is not realistic) but now you see that your friend got the promotion you wanted or a new car or got engaged, or, or, or....It maybe only a few that "snap" and "go postal" but a discontented heart can cause plenty of personal problems. It can cause emotional turmoil, lead to physical illness, and even mental breakdowns. It can affect our marriage (wanting what the neighbors have, or what you grew up having). It can teach and cause our children to be selfish and self-centered. The possibilities are endless but none good.

So ya wanna be a Rock Star...why not try to be who God created you to be. Not sure "who" that is? Ask Him in prayer to show you. You don't have the lastest iphone, the biggest house, the latest clothing, so what. Learning to be content and waiting for things will bring more joy than any "Rock Star" will ever know.

Hebrew 13:5 is a good verse to memorize to help keep you on track!

Life Changes and so must I

As you well know, life can change in a moment. What seemed stable and firm can crumble before our eyes. Finances can change when a job comes to a sudden end. Health that is unquestionable one day can bring heartache the next. Fires, tornadoes, car accidents can change everything we hold dear in a split second.

Although the above example are quick and unpredictable there are other things that can change life, such as age, adult children moving home, relocating to new area because of job change. These can be more subtle but still impactful. So what do we do when things change whether in a moment or over a process of time?

Don't panic. More than likely you are not the first person to experience this and you will not be the last.
Stay calm. No this is not quit the same as "don't panic". Staying calm involves consciously remaining in control of your emotions.
Think clearly. There may be a lot of details that need to be thought through, and it may be that you are the only one who can make those decisions. It is easy to panic, overreach and turn decision making over to someone else, then blame them for not doing things correctly or the way you would have. It is not right to put someone else in a situation of making decisions unless you completely know and trust them.
Pray and seek God's direction. God doesn't always say "yes". But He does not always so "no" and there are times we must wait patiently on Him because He knows best.
Ask for help. There are things we can't do on our own. There are times when we can't make decisions on our own. When we are in a situation when we cannot make a decision on our own, it is ok to ask for advise. It is also alright not to take any advise that is against what God's Word says is right or you are sure it is not right for you.
Do what needs to be done. Procrastination is never a solution to a problem. Waiting may be an only option but if you know there is something you need to do, do it.
Don't be afraid of change. It is inevitable. Even if we hide in a hole, change will happen. We need to be prepared to change with change. A good saying is "the difference between "better" and "bitter" is "I". When we adjust to change with a good attitude, we will not fall into a pit of self-pity, doubt, and eventually become bitter.

Ready, set, change :)

Distractions

So I have to be honest, I am easily distracted!

I'm one of those people who has a thought and forgets it before I walk to another room. Yep, you guessed it...I have to backtrack to remember what it was I was going to do. 

Age, well, it isn't the best excuse because I have been this way for years. Early on in my marriage my husband had already begun to tease me about my "reminder" notes that were scattered all over the house. He still tells me that it is "my brains scattered all over the place". I laugh because I know it's the truth.

The distractions? Oh, pretty much anything but they are usually related to what I am doing, or suppose to be doing at the moment. Cleaning the house can lead to "social media distractions". Working on a Sunday school lesson can lead to "cleaning the house distraction". Other easy distraction are old movies and watching the birds on the feeder. 

So what do I think a better "distraction" would be? Reading the Bible, time in prayer, reading books for personal growth. I am "busy" all the time yet I don't do what I know I should, those things that will draw me closer to God.

What now? I know the truth. I am using "distraction" as an excuse for not doing what I know I should/need to do. I need to recognize my lack of self-control for what it is, sin. 

James 4:17 makes it clear. If I know what is right and chose not to do it, I am in sin. I must be determined to understand just how serious God is about sin. 

Then I need to determine how serious I am about sin based on my relationship with my Savior. From there I need to set a plan in place. If I need to schedule my day more carefully.

This basic concept can apply to most area of our life. Determine if there is something you need to do, or not do. Ask God if it is sin and search His Word for the answer if you are unsure if it is right or wrong. Set in place a plan to do right or avoid wrong. Then do it.

Of course this sounds easier than it is. Of course there will be set backs but God wants to be our guide and our strength, so let Him.