I have to admit that I am NOT a very forgiving person. I was not raised in a home that showed or offered forgiveness, so it tend to allude me to this day. Receintly I started a study in "Forgiving". Man, have I been learning a lot. Let me try to articulate some of the basics.
The first concept I had to REALLY think through was that I am not a good person. I may not be a "bad" person, but that would be judging myself based on those around me or according to what the world says is, "not bad" or what is "good". I know that as a Christian I must base "good" and "bad" by what God says is "good" and "bad".
Why is this first? Why is it important?
When I am unforgiving I am ignoring the fact that I am NOT perfect. I am choosing to ignore the things that I have done to hurt others (including God). Not only hurting others but in general (including lying, cheating, stealing, negative thoughts and using negative words, gossip...oh yeah, the list goes on). Why admit any of this? I guess to encourage you to examine your own life and take responsibility for not being perfect. When we can admit that we are not perfect we can admit that others are just like us, not perfect. If we can mess up, they can mess up. Isn't easier to forgive someone when you realize how easy it is to make mistakes.
The second concept I had to really had to examine is that I have been forgiven. You see, I ask Jesus to forgive my sin and to be my Savior as a girl. Do I mess up? Well, I already admitted that but I have accepted the finish work of salvation through Jesus and He has forgiven my sin (past, present, future) according to His work, not mine. It was and is, a forgiveness that I do not deserve. I can not do anything to earn it or to repay it. So, if I have such forgiveness who am I to think that someone has hurt me so bad that there is no way I can forgive them? Yes, I know, not an easy thing to comprehend. I am still working on it, but I do what to get to the point in my own life that I can forgive with such abandon, so I will keep praying.
Oh, and if you want to see how ugly an unforgiving person can be read Matthew 18: 21-35
The last concept on forgiving that I am working on is the fact that I am CALLED to forgive. As a Christian it is not an option. I love that in 2 Corinthians 2:5-11, Paul makes a request the church at Corinth to forgive someone who had wronged him. As you read you see that the one who wronged Paul cause much hurt among the church members and that many of them had chosen to turn away from the offender. Paul, in a beautiful act of compassion, asks for the church to "forgive and comfort him so he would not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow".
Him?? What about Paul?? What about those who had been hurt by this man's actions?? Paul goes on to ask them to "reaffirm their love for him". WOW, forgive, comfort and love!? How? Why? "For the sake of Christ" and so "Satan would not have an advantage". Oh, and if you'll notice, it is not mentioned that this man sought forgiveness yet it was to be offered.
What about the forgiving me thing? What am I learning when it comes to "forgiving myself"? I do recognize that I am my own worst critic. I can be very hard on myself for not doing something as well as it could/should be done or for not doing something with perfection. I am praying about and trying to make a conscious decision to "forgive myself". I have to be alright with not being perfect, for making mistakes. I need to work toward being like my Savior but I am not there yet and I can only get to that point with His help. So forgiving myself looks like this..."Tina, it's alright, you can finish that project later. Tomorrow is a new day." "Tina, stop and think before you speak next time." It is literally encouraging myself to lighten on up on Me. Is it an excuse to do what's wrong; to not apologize when I need to? Definitely not! It is an opportunity to allow myself to breath and move forward instead of shutting down because I am not perfect.
So will you join me in taking the ropes of unforgiveness off of those you've bound and off of yourself, by forgiving? You can start with a pray. Don't stop there find a Bible study book or researching words like forgive, love, bear with one another. Also, be aware of bitterness and unforgiving thoughts and reactions (like avoidance) and reprogram from unforgiveness to forgiveness. Ask God for help so will recognize them. It's time to forgive.
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